is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
