They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize