96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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