ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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