I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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