I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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