Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
