Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize