i don't like sucking hair
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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