He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
