Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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