my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
