Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
