Jerry, you need to find god
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
