yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
