Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Randomize
