I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize