I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Come share oat with me in your robe
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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