I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
