Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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