he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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