would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
