How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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