I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
did i just pee glitter
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