how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And then he peed in my hair
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