But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
