Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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