Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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