I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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