Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
