just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
