Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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