Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
