Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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