I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
