now i know why i became what i already was.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
