yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
