aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
