I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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