just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
