If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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