Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
