good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
