Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it glows. i had to have it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm like, not good at living.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
