his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
please don't ironically join a cult
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