Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
