Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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