I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
