Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i dont even know how to be here
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
