i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
