New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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