no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize