...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
