Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
