maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
