Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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