I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
