Will you blow on my dice?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
