At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
