More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
