The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
