The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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