I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
