Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
